Wear Your Hat... Or Wear My Fist..

I am not a violent person, as I'm sure anybody who know's me would deduce, I don't get into fights, I don't needlessly kick off on people, none of that shit (unless it is completely necessary of course), but like most people, I have knocked seven shades of  shit out of plenty of wankers on the street.. in my mind.

One particular type of very specific arsehole I have enjoyed mentally castrating is the douchebag that 'perches' his hat on his head, or just 'plonks' his beanie on, leaving it standing like a sail in the wind.. and what makes these people worse is the face they pull in pictures whilst sporting this ridiculous look - the raised eyebrows, forehead lines and slight pout - they actually look like they are squeezing their last bit of shit out and waiting for the 'plop' sound, but somehow they seem to think it looks good..

What the absolute fuck is with these people?!
Again, for anybody who knows me then the following is common knowledge, I always wear a hat, even at home, with no specific reason for it other than not wanting my hair to blow around like a mad fucker in the wind, so I could possibly class myself as a veteran of cranial attire, and when I wear a hat, it has to feel tight and snug, as I'm sure most people agree.. Not balancing on top of your enlarged cows lick fringe! It's become less a hateful rant to stupid looking fools and slightly more about a concerned question of comfort.. how does it feel comfortable?!

I actually remember as a child laughing at elderly people that perched beanie's on their heads, thinking it looked a bit silly.. yes I was a horrible child, but other children did it to, to only end up doing it themselves for the sake of 'fashion'..

The one face that has stuck in my mind as a perfect example of this profoundly idiotic look has been Justin Bieber's.. I'm not going to say a single word about the Canadian atrocity that calls itself a singer, otherwise I will end up with several blood clots in my brain from frustration, but this twat is a perfect example, and anybody looking like him is no doubt just as much of a disgrace to humanity as he is..


Other things I have noticed that are generally associated with this style that are also just as foolish looking are things such as pants that reach just above the socks and Christmas jumpers in June..

If you are trying to be so away from 'mainstream' stuff, then just stop breathing? That's a pretty mainstream thing I'd say, I'd actively support you all if you decided to be that hipster..

I'm such a bell end.

Jack

Note* - Being the hypocritical bastard that I am, I do have to say that a few of my friends are hipsters and they are exempt from my hatred. But everyone else can go die.