This following list isn't gonna make me seem any younger or any kinder either..
But the blog is called Grumpy Young Twat isn't it?
This is a list of 100 things that piss me right off.. in no particular order..
1- So called 'blokes' that hit women.. I have plenty of punches left for any more I see.
2- The fucking wind.. I get sick to death of the wind trying to carry my hair away.
3- People that wear sweatpants in places other than home or the gym..
4- People that shove their hands down their sweatpants in public.. I'll rip your little twinkie off next time.
5- People that walk like they are holding two bags of bricks, sporting the 'hard man' face.
6- People that watch, and enjoy, TOWIE.
7- People.
8- Novels about child abuse and domestic abuse.
9- The fact that my Mother reads novels about child adbuse.
10- Kim Jong Un's dress sense.
11- Kim Jong Un's hairstyle. It often looks like a book that has been opened to the middle.
12- Gordon Brown's rebellious lower lip.
13- Frankie Boyle's sense of self-righteousness. (He does still make me laugh, however)
14- The fact that it is often windier in underground stations than it is on the surface world.
15- Primark underwear.
16- Hipsters.
17- Culturally intolerant people.
18- The Welsh.
19- Bad jokes ^
20- Rich people (if I'm poor)
21- Poor people (if I'm rich)
22- When Native American's are called Indian's
23- Jack Nicholson's hairline (love Jack Nicholson though)
24- Julianne Moore's yoga toes. (Credit to Rachael Toohey)
25- Light rain.. It has to be heavy rain, or no rain. Can't be doin' with it 'spitting'..
26- Having the need to readjust myself when surrounded by attractive females.
27- Moths. I. Fucking. Hate. Moths.
28- The fact that my younger brother is one of those trolling little shit's on CoD. (I love him to bits though)
29- Waking up in the winter. (Fucking love everything else about winter though.)
30- The speed at which people walk up and down Bold Street. (Liverpool)
31- The fact that the sweetie aisle in Home Bargains is the aisle everybody queues down.
32- People that call it Home & Bargains.
33- Shops that don't sell Mango Rubicon. Love Mango Rubicon.
34- People that say LOTR is 'shit'. It's okay not to like it, but calling such a masterpiece shit is ignorant.
35- When my wallet is empty.
36- The fact that my cat has become immune to me tickling his paw pads.
37- Hypochondriac's.
38- The fact that I always forget where I last carved my name into Thurstaston Rock..
39- When the Spaghetti Bolognese goes cold in the middle of being eaten.
40- Most things ending in 'ist'.. Specifically extremist's and stubborn feminists.
41- Too much small talk.
42- Slipping in dog shit. Stepping in it doesn't bother me, it's the slipping that drives me crazy.
43- The apparent obsession with 'Z-List' celebrities.
44- Everything about the Kardashians, there is no reason whatsoever for them to be so popular.
45- Having to fork out my hard earned change to use the loo in public.
46- People who complain about their weight, but don't try to help themselves.
47- Slow walkers.
48- Slow walkers that zig zag, preventing a way past them.
49- How fucking much young people drink.. it's bloody ridiculous.
50- Clammy weather.
51- People who hate public displays of affection. Calm the fuck down, their not shagging!
52- People who are naturally blunt and short via text and Facebook.. I get so offended..
53- When the cashier puts my change on top of the receipt, they all fucking do it!
54- When people think you are crying and you actually do have shit in your eyes.
55- The god awful head tilt in girls pictures. It actually looks fucking stupid, get a new pose!
56- People who like their own statuses on Facebook.
57- The majority of Facebook.
58- Glory seekers and drama queens.
59- When the word 'lid' is used to refer to someone..
60- When I turn into a prune after being in the shower/bath too long.
61- People who don't look after their feet.. toenails people!
62- The fact that my bellybutton is both an outie and an inie..
63- People who call me a car bomber for being Irish.
64- Fake Irish people on St. Patricks day.
65- Being in love with the city but also the countryside!
66- The fact that I can't ever have a pet Orangutan.. less of a pet, more a friend.
67- The fact that Jim Carrey will have to die at some point..
68- Anybody who calls me. For a split second I detest them for making me jump.
69- How much a person can change! (for the worse)
70- The general shape of cows. They are cubical. What the fuck.
71- The fact that American Squirrels killed off our much better looking Squirrel.
72- People that slate me for liking Adam Sandler, fuck you guys, he makes me laugh.
73- Extremely highly opinionated people - especially if they are aggressive about it.
74- Ever being reliant on people. Don't much like it.
75- Politics and Religion. (for the most part, I do respect and admire religion mostly)
76- 99% of Reality TV shows.
77- Olive green bathrooms. Yeuk.
78- Thorns on winter mornings..
79- How actually hard it is to fake laugh.
80- How much I actually need to employ my fake laugh.
81- Cars that are a mix between Fast and Furious and the Hills Have Eyes..
82- People that don't know what Auschwitz is.
84- People that put don't return any of the effort you put into them..
85- MC music.. I appreciate the skill in talking very fast. But it sounds terrible.
86- The weird elbow thumb that dogs have..
87- That one friend who just makes you feel drunk when you think of them.
88- Eggs.
89- Drinking milk on it's own in other peoples houses..
90- When you make a pizza and the underside is soggy for some reason!
91- Anybody that has tunnel vision.
92- When other people come up with awesome lines that, if given time, I would've come up with!
93- People that claim to be drummers, but don't use their wrists when playing the drums.
94- Having my glasses become invalid when it rains.
95- Having my glasses steam up when I come into warmth from the outside.
96- The fact that everywhere seems to be uphill..
97- When I need to click my back, but can't manage to!
98- Getting so close to the end and struggling to think of 2 more uncommon things I hate.
99- Kristen Stewart's face throughout all Twilight movies.
100- When you lose your phone under the covers..
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Well, there we have it. Some unusual ones on there I'm sure, but that's just who I am!
If you are actually reading this and you made it through the list, then I love you and appreciate you
putting in a bit of time to look at something I worked hard on!
But as usual,
Piss off.
Jack
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