The Facebook Hierarchy

I thought I might write a few little articles about all the things I notice on Facebook. I leave status's now and again, chat to a few friends here and there, but mostly.. I simply wait.. and watch.. Were this the real world, I'm sure there would be grounds for arrest in doing that..
Anyway, one thing I've noticed, as I'm sure a lot of you have noticed, is that just like in the real world, all the way through history (though right now, less dramatic) there have always been hierarchies.. A pyramid of the social classes, based on various different factors.. I have written my little idea of the Facebook hierarchy.. generally based on Facebook activity, including posts, photo's and likes.. So here goes!

Watching and Observing on Facebook..

At the top of this little pyramid, you have the people 

that rake in all the likes for literally nothing, relatively similar to a lot of musical celebrities nowadays, who could fart down a microphone and sell 3 millions units. They post statuses, sometimes making good points or jokes, but generally just informing the world of their mundane evening meals or the consistency of their bowel movements and still getting 50 likes. This is also the general area where you will find most of the 'unintentional cleavage' or the 'blatantly not flexing' pictures. These folk rule the roost, and in a lot of ways their profile reflects their real social status. I just think they're arseholes.

This is where the party's at..

Next down you have the more 'middle class' social networking people, the ones that post fairly regularly, but it's nothing unusual to not see any activity for a day or so. Mostly average statuses about hot topics or notable daily activities such as driving tests or the poor quality of public transport scheduling. These people tend to be the ones that use Facebook for it's main purpose, to stay in touch with their closest friends, easily and efficiently make arrangements and maybe even just casually browsing whilst waiting for their pot noodle
to boil or their porn videos to finish buffering. 

The normal, indifferent people..

Here we have two kinds of people. There's the ones that don't do much, rarely post, and by general rule, rarely receive likes. They don't usually have many photo's and in a lot of cases now, these are the peeps that have gone over to Twitter. The other kind of person in this area is the one that posts just as much as the people in the area above, sometimes even as much as the ones at the top, but they get no likes and nobody seems to take notice. Poor buggers. 

They try and try and nobody takes notice..

Just like on Shark Tale, at the very bottom of the list, we have rocks.. we have WHALE POO and then we have these devils.. the faceless apparitions.. That one person in your friend list who's profile photo is a low resolution picture of a Lamborghini, Ferrari, or even worse.. Tranmere Rover's football badge. 

I'm sure these people are plotting..

God Help Us.

Well, there you have it. A simple, albeit shitty, opinion of the Facebook hierarchy based from observation. No matter how much Facebook does my head in and no matter how much the things I see on Facebook make me want to step off this planet and find another one, I myself am a sheep just like the rest.. 

Hope you enjoyed!

Jack

For the hell of it, here is Pingu, because I fucking love Pingu.